Just giving honest opinion:
Apathy's open:
Quote:
Wit' Gravity for a name you'd think dis' cat was "down", but check this...
This clown spits so much hot air he has to wear anvil for a necklace!
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It wasn't a personal, but it was a decent open,well structured,
basic multies,flowed nice
Gravity's open:
Quote:
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ya seeking for 'attention' looking for a 'metion' i should av let ya have abit more 'preparation' or even give ya abit of the doctors 'medication' ya see im doin all this for a good 'cause' to get a crews 'reputation' n now i'll 'pause'.......... n rap again wiyhout 'hesitation'
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I think that's where it ended??
First structure, I can't really give a full opinion if I can't make (your) meaning of it
It was good wording decent vocab , just needs to be DEFINED START STOP
xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx
No personal or punches
Elevate:
Apathy's Line 3, 4, 5, 6
Quote:
I'm a sexist textist, so I don't like to flow against bitches...
I'm convinced that i've seen better structure on styrofoam bridges!
Are you religious? Well if not you will be after you read this...
The shit you jot is so played, that you coudn't be saved by Jesus!
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Good structure, (they could be extended, but they are still defined!)
good wordplay and flow, (so many syllables made it sound better)
No punches or personal
(If Gravity he better get it in these next lines)
Damn dog I couldn't even read or put together a
HARMONIZED DEFINED LINE
STRUCTURE refer to the XXXX'S
xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So even if I were to strain myself to make meaning of the rest of your verse,
that shit wouldn't slid in a 'real' battle and it prob won't slide here
I got to give it to Apathy
Just elevate Gravity
read some tutorials
Keep trying and bring it up
and that goes for you too Apathy
You got my vote, but if it were up against better punches etc
I dunno
Keep it moving!
JamesJr.