View Single Post
Old 02-06-04, 10:48 AM   #3
SMZ
Flyweight
 
Posts: 102
From: Charleston, SC
IP:

Alright, flow needs a little work. ex:
"she got to her aunts house worn out and filled with tears/
her told her she could stay for a few years/"

liked this line:

"then it happened one day a customer busted a rubber/
now she's not know as a growin girl she's know as a young mother/"

Overall 6/10
Send a message via AIM to SMZ   Reply With Quote