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Old 02-06-04, 07:56 PM   #12
Dev
1E
 
Posts: 1,512
From: N.E.England
IP:

Master Diminish Ripping, Crying your life when you Wept-Debt,
After I Finished Flipping, Cheq-Neq Has to Get Ya Neq-Cheq'd//
^^nice complexity to it and decent personal for the opener,
Like Im Meths-Wrecked, He couldn't show off if he Was-Nude,
What he Suggest-Inept,Just Like Where Wolly you Lost-Dude//
^^consistant, but the punch came a bit weak.. average
What I Concoct-Feuds, I got more chance Living for Eternity,
Than you Not To-Lose, After OnePunch Im Giving Emergency//
^^liked this punch, but the first half of the first line.. didnt like
He got Reality Twisted, B'cos Cheq'Neq Is Screwing The Win,
Is this kid Tight Fisted? Nah this dumbfucks Imbuing Nothing//
^^decent closer....

..This Dude 'Speaks Through His Feet' Similar to 'Soccer Debatin'!!
Ya 'Life'? the 'Doctors Beratin'! cuz chek made yuh 'Embrace yo Stomach' like 'Boxers Recuperatin!!'//1
^^stretched... n quite weak, tryna puttoo much in it
...Ya 'Blessed by a Blown Gage'!..when the 'Clips Change ya Views of God' like a 'Jehova Witness's Home Page'!//2
^^average... bad structure tho
..Recieve Tips on Ways to get Rob!.. when I 'Seperate ya Pulse' and leave yah 'Body to Part with the Throbs'!!....'Survival'?..Vis'll Stomp *Lottery Tickets in ya Chest*!..make ya *Heart Quit its Day Job*!!..//3
^^again way stretched,,, too complex, with a weak punch
..Ya Lost 'Money from a Thin Salary'!..when I Pushed yu 'Over Hells Budget' like 'Costly Sin Rallies'!..I'll End your Dreams! so *Theo Ain't Seen Next Season* like a *Cosby Finale*!!//4
^^average, ok wordplay
..Knives Inserted in ya Spine! leave Marks 'Stiched on the Inside' like 'Fake Shirt Designs'!..Beat 'Work into ya Mind'!--now *Theory Dead on Campus* like *Albert Einstein*!!
..Obtain Brutal Beatins from the Bars! when it Knocks ya Teeth in Hard!..//5
^^ok, but dont very direct
...Flames! make ya Feel the Heatin Scars!..till ya *Heart Jumps Out the Back* like *Sealed Greetin Cards*!!//6
^^not bad wordplay, but weak punch to finish up...

Master, your verse was short, but it was easy to follow and with some decent punches, quite consistant'ish. check, your verse could l;ooked pre-written.. it had good complexity, but lacked direction.. and punches.... going on the punching.... vote=master..........both could use work on punches
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