if this was just a flow...then it was

but it lacked in a few areas
the flow was very not consistent... i just have a persona pet peeve with spelling.. but thats me

the imagry, vocab, rhyme scheme and just about everything else lacked

theres wasnt a consistent idea with this whole piece

first bit of advice, make your lines about the same lenght

peep this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...089#post1163089