Thread: Angel Crying
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Old 02-07-04, 04:12 PM   #5
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
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From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin
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this piece was opened up nicely, thou the rhyming did seem a bit forced at the end of the first stanza, but only a bit. then it went deeper, and emotion began to show, and the detail was good, vocab not bad, flow was and structure were basic, but the content was good, and well thought out. but i found that it was choppy, jumped all over the place near the end, and when it ended it just seemed incomplet, like we were missing a big chuck of the story. i think it could be expanded, and made a better piece, but this had its well written lines.

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
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