Enjoyed them both...

Real quick, just to settle flow...
I thought Largo's was much more fluid.
Up until his Smoke Signal hook...
In the second stanza.
Don't know why ya did that.
But all around, way, way smoother than Taktik's pause filled verse.
I just don't get why ya added so many flow breakers.

Now on to story...

Taktik really killed this with the high drama and psychotic mindframe of his character...
Deep, troubled, definately a shocker...
But I didn't feel it was done for shock value...
It was just real fucking good the way it unfolded.

Largo was ok, but too simple...
Didn't describe his characters well enough...
I mean, one cat's story was only given 8 lines...
And short ones at that.
Good message, see the obvious for what it is...
But I just think ya could have delved deeper than ya did.

For quite the amazing and interesting story...
(despite what I saw as fucked up flow)

Taktik

Peace

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