the first two verses i loved... they fit perfectly together
you had great vocab n good play on words... the way you pieced
together all the words in the first two verses were good... but
then with the 3rd verse it seems you just kept going not really
knowing what to put... it seems a little strained.... as for the last verse
the first line is the best.. and then it seemed to trail away... try to stick
with consistancy.. if you dont feel it just wait...my fav lines

"ive seen all of hells clutter"
"ive seen glory turn sour, seen childs soul devoured"

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<BR><h3><color=black><center><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=left LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 width=300>*~*~*Lady Wun*~*~*</MARQUEE></color></center></h3>
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<BR><MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=scroll DIRECTION=up LOOP=infinite scrollamount=1 height=100> <center><font color=000000><I>*~*~*~*~*</p>I'm invisible to the unseen eye</p>I'm undeniable strength</p>*~*~*~*~*~*</p>Merk Squad</MARQUEE></center><I>