rule, you opened this piece very nicely, it grabbed my attention right away. the message/topic of this piece can be a common one, but your was so full of emotion and feelings, and just written so nicely that it was always interesting throu out. i liked the flow and structure of this piece, and you vocab was good, just gotta watch for those spelling and grammar mishaps. i thought the content and detail in this piece were dead on, they drew a nice picture, got emotions and thoughts across, and made it interesting, while keeping a good flow and structure. the ending to this topped it off very well, wasnt choppy and didnt leave an empty feeling. was a great read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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