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Old 02-09-04, 10:19 AM   #4
SMZ
Flyweight
 
Posts: 102
From: Charleston, SC
IP:

Flows alright here but I've seen better from you. First four bars after "I know...please continue" are all kinda choppy. Vocab nice and descriptive once again. Well told story - thus far. Overall - 8.5 I've seen you ask what you're weaknesses are before - My personal opinion is that you seem a bit removed from your works. In other words it seems like your narrating a story rather than living it. I don't really feel your emotion coming thru. Just my thoughts - nice piece though as usual.

Oh - yeah and someone hit my "Broken Metamorphosis"
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