straight up, I think this was your worst piece...that i have read. No offense intended.
You had solid wordplay, and all that shit, but the flow was kinda choppy, and it was just hard on the eyes. I don't know if it was how you worded it, or if it was how I read it, but i seriously disliked this. You had a good ending though, I enjoyed that.
My only criticism would be to avoid wording thing awkwardly, cause they look that way..yeesh.
sorry dude =(
I want to hear the audio, it was probably just me.

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis