very well done.

It's hard to find a point to start at. So I will start with the structure. Although not to complicated it easily broke the boundaries of simplicity. Your flow, on point almost throughout the whole thing, except the end of the first stanza, it died there, I feel because of a shortage of syllables. Your vocab, wasn't to impressing, but with this topic, vocab would have been un-becoming to the moral and point of the piece. The topic, hits very close to home for me, I had friends who were enrolled at Columbine when the shooting's occured, and it was very nice to see that it impacted someone other then those people. All in all, Good drop, 8/10, keep them coming.

If you would return the favor and provide some honest feedback for my piece, "The Soldiers Creed" in my sig, I would be extremely gratefull. It has been horribly slept on, not one reply since last night when I dropped it.