Spectator
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IP:
I didnt feel any emotion in this... At least not as much as I would expect given the content. You've done the same thing here as with your 'My People' piece Lyrical... Taken a powerful topic and really weakened it with the style of writing you use.
To me, this reads like a first draft, something to be built upon.
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Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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