only flaw i saw...and i mean only
dont up the thread too much

your comma use maybe once or twice could have been fixed...
a touch of internal rhyming never hurt anyone..
ex:

Slowing down to take a look around, analyze my situation
Listen silently for the sound, only hearing breath of hesitation
I can play each picture back, movies trapped inside stills

could have been:

Slowing down to take a look around, analyze my situation
Listen silently for the sound, only heard (was hearing) breaths of hesitation (flows better)
I can play each picture back(add word found for a better transition), movies trapped inside stills

thats all your getting out of my, the rest are state secrets...hit me on AIM anytime, after all im suppose to be helping you

kids these days, drop a dope OM and it all goes to their head, LOL

good drop here!!