|
Flyweight
|
IP:
Nice piece - captured that feeling of longing and frustration with time. Good word choice. Flow was on point only lines I saw that seemed off were:
"Like a timeline, i can identify us, from beginning to the end
Distance defined, but nonetheless, you are still my friend"
I think that second line could use one more syllable. Strong closer - which is always important.
Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you get a chance.
|