Chugs - your structure is annoying... but you're skills are there... develop them and get a better structure. Overall OK verse, much better than Lust. Work on your punches and personals

Lust - quit rap... or do some serious studying on this site... visit Elevated and Elite and learn what a punch is... you had ONE - it was the mime punch. Weak at best

vote = chugs

actually, both of you should visit elevated and elite frontlines to learn.... that is all.