Id appreciate if you gave me some feed back from this verse i thought up, kinda my first real verse, not really a subject just flipped a few concepts.. Kinda from a 'fighty' and 'choppy' sort of style, the punch's are there... ive explained next to it.... all thought i don't ussualy.

I aint'a rip this. Ima rap BITCH ~ (WRAP)
-........ make like a WOMENISOR at christmas!
Im distant with this shit, spittin rhymes so ILL
- i give AIDS to a DEAF bitch!
And grab the lines of her death bed and rip it
Like rip-less.......Lemme flip this,

*CHANGED*

I aint walk in the room i'd rather blow that shit up
Hit and run on a slut - go home and jump in my truck
Dam-em!.....N ride untill fuck that bitch up!!
Spit till eternatys up, or you internally BLEEDING......
- like you SWALLOWED a CUT!!!!!!!
Slammin it shut, im double, double you dawg i aint even call you the mut
Im on a FULL TANK bitch... aint even busted a NUT. ~~

~ - rap as in wrap - wrap a women up at christmas
~~ - full tank as in cars n engines and that shit not even busting nuts.

Wack.......?