Hey Zee..
This piece was really well written, I was impressed..You have definately elevated, you were always good, but this is one of the best I've seen from you..Great flow and even some multi's in there..The piece was all around scattered with nice use of various literary techniques..content was very original and imaginitve..imagery was real nice..these were my favorite lines:

"Hope sprang elate, a ray of light through curtained dark
Dove through the holy portals, the heat that bathed my heart
Torn and bleeding in the silence, struck by the devils evil dart
God departed from the desert, left no trace of caring mark"

And also the last two lines..Nice job gyrl..Keep writin' and stay up
Pz