aight...read both..

this one kinda was inferior to part 1...
seems like u were tired of writing so
u just came up with some rhymes..and no content..
i mean..its a good story so to speak..but the way u put
it together wasnt so good...although u
damn near saved it with the closing statement..
so the thought was there...but my opinion is that
your effort gave way to impatience..
like u just said.."fuck this..i wanna finish already"..
my opinon....peace