yeah...Dev said it all...

this was basic...a little boost in vocab
coulda helped..but not too much of it..
sorry i couldnt catch the flow cuz of the way
u structured it...but anyway...
just a simple piece that can use more complexity..
a bit more creativity and u should do better...
peep the link in my sig...its a similar concept to yours
...those damn broads...peace..thanx...