im riding in my escalade
with my extra blade in my pocket
i looked over your verse first. its more of an open mic piece
in the other one i got my rocket
i got out the car and poped it
you have flow i mean.. but other than that you really dont send any punches (disses) to your opponent, i mean this IS a battle
the guy was john dough
down in one blow
also you need to connection your lines better, follow through/set up era.. vise versa... this will give better stroy telling ability when battling some one
he didnt think
thats why he was unconus in one blink
i mean yours sort of had that but, it seems liek your stilla newer emcee, which is fly, but you need to work on rhyme shceme, flow,metaphors, PUNCHS...
i poped it again now he dead
got hit straight in the head
[b] yea heard me?

Start with workign onyour punchlines.. after that develop a better flow/rhyme scheme, then comes multis, then comes metaphors lastly you should try for is wordplay.

Ya great kid..ya elevated..going up against u..I'll fall
fuck that..
....I don't know whether to post 2 lines or not at all!
kind of a fast flow here.. sarcasim, g thats not in rap now a days. eh this opening could have been better. not much of a diss
Damn looks like you took a shit..then went and posted it
Wait hold up..let me go get a fuckin mod to close this
coudl havebeen a much better bar. punch was straight but not that hard. follow through wasnt bad i suppose but really needed more of a punch to it
So ya tupac huh? are you just looking for a bit of fame?
Cuz ya punches are about as played..as well..ya name!
eh, alright personal shot for this battle, could have came harder with the strength but decent for the battle
Its wrestling match..but in tha opening seconds u get pinned
You want pacs name? well i guess you'll get shot up like him!
not impressed by this bar... wrestling match was an ok concpet but you didnt follow through enough with it nor direct it. the follow through was basic in my eyes, but alright
Fuck a closer..shit..don't need one..i don't know whats worse
Reading ya fucking name..or reading ya fucking verse!
good ending, sort of had direction that was dope to it. connected punch bar, which is the kind i like set up and follow through..

over all you had an alright verse for this battle seemed a little rushed and could have came off better but its all good. i would work on you consistency for punchs and your flow. but really i would start with working up better metaphors which might add to your punchlines.

vote- John Dough
Took it witha better verse, more consisent punchs.

Drop an honest vote, then ill come back and poll vote for you
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=113612

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