accelerate:your opener was sort of fucked up structure wise, but the humor in the punch made a good bar, out of an otherwise simplistic starter. your punches were fucked, a lot of lines just didn't match or rhyme, but the ones that did hit pretty hard. your overall structure was all wrong, I had trouble reading it, you need to try counting sylables...you had atleast one metaphor, which was ayite, a little wordplay, none really stood out. your closer wayyyyyy too long, but I got what you were saying,so it hit a lot harder after I wread it the second time...

.syke.:your opener rolled a lot better off the tounge, the structure was there but, the punch was soft,plus obvious,which took away from it's power a little. your punches werent really complex or strong, the hospital line is pretty played..your structure was way better than acc's, I don't think you had any metaphors, you had a little bit of wordplay, mostly because you played off his name..your closer was the most witty and complex part of your whole verse, it was a good punch/personal, I just wish your whole verse would've came hard as your finisher....

vote:accelerate
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...t=114089&page=2