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Old 02-17-04, 06:42 PM   #2
rule
..Soft Focus..
 
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Posts: 1,639
From: Ont.
IP:

This was a good piece, needs work but for a first piece definitly decent. I think you should make it bigger give the reader more of a visual of situations you've been through. the emotion was good but could use some metaphores and such. keep writting and elavating i'll be looking at more from you. peace
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