Interesting take on this concept. The cheating thing has been done to pieces, but you took a good way at looking at it. Your vocab was strong for the most part. Your flow fell of in the middle a bit. But you quickly fixed that, I like how you did a before and after effect that kept me interested. Overall this was a real good piece you just have a few things you could fix, but keep on writing you will realize this and reach your full potential.

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