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Old 02-27-04, 08:50 PM   #16
168
Flyweight
 
Posts: 162
IP:

IP: 31C1 CDF2


liquor of tears,you stick dick up queers rears. bum cheek cum smear, young son dont sneer/ you that bitch down the beach who wont jump from the pier. this punk gets drunk from one beer,then tink he look a hunk in his l,a gear/ im sorry son but im being sincere, when i say youve no idea,how easily i could end your career/ i equal fear round my area, tyne nd wear. all u equal to"s a mear fucking ryhme then see ya/
i dont give a fuck bout you, like my rent arreas. that why im not gonna bother with round 2 ive went to ikea/
cheers.........!
well pretty basic and very played out gay jokes you need help on elevating but slowly you'll get there this is jus for fun
work on everything and try to be more original in your verse
no hate jus helping out a mc



Liquidation of your mind, Only takes a matter of time 1
Before my words stain ya face like iodine 2
Your words so short, I jump'em like hedges. 3
Meet ya face ta face,bullets split ya chest like wedges 4
The Sensation of this confrontation is leaving you facing the fact -
that the only time you beat somethings during masturbation. 5

Now back the hell up, and learn to rhyme without the cuss
And pack ya piece, cause preparation is a must
I rhyme better sleepin then you ever could.
Damn, Even if ya name was Camble you couldn't be Mmm Mmm Good

well much betta verse all in all
you had a better structure but drop the numbers and you also had a betta flow
your pounches were a bit weak but managed to knock him out


you get my vote

jus being honest
check back for honest voting in my battle in my sig

peace
__________________
I vote you should too


19-13
W--L



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