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Old 03-08-04, 02:26 PM   #5
Issachar
New to RB
 
Posts: 96
IP:

I agree about sixty-three's punchlines, but I thought his flow was sketchy. He needs to chop down some of that stuff to the essentials: no need to say

"i'm like getting through a ten-inch thick steel wall son you just "can't touch this" "

when you leave off the "ten-inch thick" part and improve the flow:

"I'm like gettin' through a steel wall son, you just "can't touch this" "

Likewise, "sure i ain't made my paper but that's for a simple reason: i'm in this thing for fun" would be better as "sure I ain't made my paper, but that's 'cause I'm only in this thing for fun" ...or something along those lines.

63's rhymes were mostly simplistic, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the rhyme a bit to construct the punchline, so he gets a pass for that.

dagreatest keeps creepin' along bit by bit -- he had the makings of a decent metaphor with

"got you locked up in the cellar developing anorexia/
while i'm standing right next to ya/
eating a full course meal/"

...but not nearly enough in that verse to beat the six-three.