Lil Rip ~ Toon was basically right, your rap looked more like a short essay or a long paragraph. Need to fix that for sure. Nothing to great really stood out to me, although the ending was good, MJ line. You ok man.
SnypeR ~ Liked your stuff, structure was obviously better, and multis were a lil played out at times but not bad.
TO BOTH, it usually helps with personals if you can make plays on their name somehow. Just a sugesstion.
Vote: SnypeR
Plz hit this back up..
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=116008