Nope you didn't really stay wit the topic, your ryhmes were basic and lagging in some parts. Your vocab was basic throughout the whole verse, however it was a decent verse so I give you....
6/10

L.I. it was a nice verse, jus do me a favor next time don't write so damn much man. You stayed on topic had nice flow an ryhme scheme and you had a fairly broad vocab throughout...good verse
8/10
Vote: L.I.