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Old 04-12-04, 07:08 PM   #1
Shadows edge
retired.
 
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Posts: 1,666
From: Urbana
IP:

Yeah, nice topic and I thought va you spit damn well for a newb. I'm going with LI though because I thought that verse had me feeling it more.. presented an atmosphere, emotions, etc .. really told the story well. va, you did decently, but your rhymes didn't flow as well and your presentation wasn't quite as solid. nice spit though, again.

for instance this:

"
afta that i went home 4 dinna\\

ate some food turkey wit vingar\\
shyte then afta that chilled an play with xbox,and ps2 wit my cousins\\
beat'em so bad in da games it was by dozens\\"

vingar and dinna rhyme ok, but you have a huge break, so there's no point in rhyming there. the next line "... cousines" is too long, and doesn't flow wel with the rest.

keep elevating.

v/LI.

hit up my battle with acc.
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