tte hurr comes anotha one 4 tha kidds\\
imma bout to teach Oc6 The Caustic a lesson he will never 4get\\
... yeah.. weak.

lets blaze the field up an tie him up in it\\
yu"ll be burned up worser than ashes matta fact u won't be shyte\\
... yeah... weak. also, poor flow, simple rhyme

im tha king an u peasent of dis rap game\\
i won't stop at nuttin to finish u off,cut chu neck an rip out cha brain\\
not great strucuture, weak but existent punch

im lyrical acclaimed to let tha innocent die\\
u will be my next victum i shread up, stabb u in da heart an tear out cha eyes\\
again, poor structure, overused punch, not much going on here

this isn't offical pain its just why u hurr so enjoy\\
i grabb u will u sleep drag u out side feedchu to my as if u were a chew toy\\
feedch to my... what? dog? even so this is weak

im real violent when i start my method of physical dismantle\\
want a demonstration come hurr bring legg imma gently rib it off by my manhandle\\
yeah... kinda getting repetetive hear, and the lines are too long

im quick to notice a victum of defeat\\
how u ask 1st i grabb u by there hand and chop off there feet\\
the first line was ok, but this went nowhere

then i toss the remains into a selective ponds \\
you won't be found again till a legal statement in court an then sum agreeable bonds\\
second line waaay too long. "selective ponds" .. wtf? your second line was also weak

Overall man, you gotta elevate. Work on some actual punches instead of just "im gonna kill you" shit, work on multis, work on rhymes, work on worldplay, work on structure.

Like this:

"
No one can handle my vocab., It'll have your brains stirred/
And I'll have ya running up and down helpless, just like ya avatar/"

See how its an actual diss, more elevated wordplay and then he uses a personal.

oc6.. you gotta work on your structure too though. not great in this one, and it didn't flow together well. also work a bit on punches, although you were definetely better.

v/caustic

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