RapVerse.com Community - View Single Post - spitfire-+ \\\s/// Da Solution

Da Solution get's the nod from me...

Da Solution:
Lay waste /nigga to live u betta make haste/Me u can't trace/
I'll leave u so battle scared even yo mamma won't recognize yo face

Weak starting line, played out punch line and poor wording "me u can't trace"

I smack u so hard like da earth yo head will be revolvin
I'll do u all in/call me a math teacher/cuz this is problem slovin

Again, wording is kind of awkward; decent multi...

Spit fire u a lyer Im da defination of mean
u couldn't make fire erupt if a mic was coverd in gasoline

Weak multi just to have a multi; the punch is decent, not stellar...

U a emcee/If i was standin still u could'nt punch me
u so whack u got thrown out of New Howard country(his home)

You a emcee? Complimenting him now? Good punch in the first line, second one's a little weak..unless it's true...

How u gonna say no Bs when you got shit in yo pants
Look at his avatar/Thats his I GOT MY ASS WHOOPED DANCE

The setup ain't great but I love that punch...hahah...

U not spittin fire he's mainly blowin smoke follks
He'll choke/after i pour water down his throat

Hmm...strikes me as weird...dunno why...maybe it's obviousness...anyone'll choke if you pour water down their throat...

This was no contest people you can clearly distinguish
u notin but a pile of ashes cuz u just got extinguished

Decent closer, nothing mindboggling, but at least you brought it personal with the name topic.

Overall: C- rhyme, just a bit below average but definetely showing potential; decent flow, a few multis (though a mutli's only good if it advances your rhyme, not just to have it). Work on polishing it up, constructing more clever punches (along the lines of the "I GOT MY ASS WHOOPED DANCE"...I just love that line...)

Spitfire:

itte hurrs Da solution to that lil wak kidd\\
to much mouth hidding behind mommas bed\\

What? That's the opening? Gotta come harder...

no potential thurr just sum 14 yrs sudda-of-bytch\\

What is this line? Where is the rhyme? It's just floating in limbo? Da Solution is damn young and that's best age punch you can do?

he betta quite what he half-way started\\
playing wit me is bad 4 his heartage\\

If you have to make up words to make a rhyme you need to get a thesaurus.

im heading out to tha field to lay waste to this boy\\
kill his animals an burn his toys\\

Not great, but that punch is a vast improvement over the last age diss...

this rookie yo game is not well earned \\
messing wit spit fire is dangerous might get burned \\

Lost your flow, weak and predictable punch...

this is no competiton to what we dispute\\
its how he bout to drink chemicals that have his mouf on mute\\

huh?

styll an't in yah comprehension\\
how do i spell it 1-or-2 deminshen\\

There's the seedling of a decent punch in there, but it's overshadowed by you asking "how do i spell it" and then fucking up the spelling beyond belief...

don't to ez out an think u could get away\\
imma sattle u up in mid-day\\

huh?

leave u there to think an get ready to opologize\\
as u do imma get a rusty knife an rip outcha eyes\\
leave to die an let the worm multiply\\

huh? What worm?

Overall: D rhyme. Have an oppourtunity for personals based on his youth and barely mention it (and not very well when you do); the flow was a'ight, but half of that verse is damn near incomprehsible...some of it doesn't appear to have a damn thing to do with the battle...Like JPoll said...bring some originality....You gotta step it up a notch...

Nod to Da Solution