RapVerse.com Community - View Single Post - Testament Vs. DisasterPeice420

Gotta give the nod to Ill Testament

DisasterPeice420:

Awwww, Did I Hurt Your 'Pussy-A$$-Feelings',/
Explaining To This Rap Site, About Your Fake 'Thug-Dealings',/

Liked the word play (thug dealings/drug dealings), but overall weak way to start a battle

Kneeling Crowning Me As Your 'Best-Opponent',/
The Truth Hurts Especially When You Can't 'Disown-It',/

Sounds a little forced, to me...

Get Caught Up Dumb A$$ Your 90's 'Hip-Hop',/
And My Style Your Idolizing Needs 'To-Stop',/

Poor wording of the punch...the way it reads, it's like YOUR style needs to stop, not his idolizing of it...

I Got You Admitting And Talking Some 'Dumb-A$$-Shit',/
Hating, More Like Laughing Every Time 'You-Spit',/

Nothing spectacular...

After This Im Threw, You Your Too Shit For 'My-Liking',/
Take The Time To Practice, Call Me When u Improve 'Your-Writing',/

I like the flow of the last line, but not very strong for a closer...

Overall: Good flow, just seems like you're a little off in this one. No real good punches, nothing overtly personal...::shrug::...mediocre rhyme and I know you can do better than that...

Ill Testament:

(First things first...the font size irritated the shit out of me...lol...too small)

Ill's Presence Is Primal, With The Bloody Instinct Havin Ya Dreadin Survival
I'm Embedded In Zygotes, Mom's Gave Birth To Corpses Cus DP's Dead On Arrival, I'll Crack Ya Eye Lens With A Rifle,

Flow is MAD off, but the punch is strong...

Shreddin Ya Weak Back, Creased Half'd My Steez Wack? I'll Write Rhymes On Kodak Films & Still Won't Get Negative Feedback!

I love the punch...that was a "wish I'd a thought of that" line for me...the setup was weak though...

Breathe Fast, Cus This Sick Individual Will Make Ya Stomach Turn As Rotated Bulemics, I'll Gloat With The Meanness...Flow To Demean Kids, While Dome's Molding In Sequence

Flow got better...but, maybe I'm just dumb...I don't get the last line...Rotated Bulemics was kinda clever though...

Ill's Holding The Secret, And You Better Off Deceased, Sandwiched To Wedge Maggots, I'll Fist Ya Moms During Her Menstrual Cycle Til Ya Literally Catch Me Red Handed!

Flow fell off again but ends with a good strong punch...red handed...nice...

DP Might Impress Faggots, But I'm The Reason Why Cats Are Just Scared To Drop I Was Conceived On 2 Fisherman's Wharf The Way My Whole Life's A Pier Of Docks

Not a great closer, but clever word play on "paradox'...just don't know that it fits the battle, really...

Overall: Better verse than Disaster's, some VERY clever punchlines but, overall, need to work on the flow of the words and consistent quality...If each rhyme was a sick as the Negative Feedback and Red Handed lines...you'd be tough to beat...

E