Nod to Denver Max
Denver:
M.F.P.? you've got P.M.S
cooking and cleaning in your sisters dress.
Not a bad opener; not earthshaking, but mildly amusing...
running around looking for a dick to jump on
trying to figure out how to work a tampon.
Again, mildly amusing but nothing spectacular...
i'm just kidding, i didn't mean any of that
but i bet you're just like wildfire, you're fat.
i'm a rhyming machine like that cat in the hat
as a matter of fact, i've got a big striped hat.
First, agree with Franchize, that fat shit is old (it was old before you brought it up in two different battles...it's a lot older now)...weak rhymes, and rhyming hat twice? There are countless words that rhyme with "hat," but instead of using one of them, you say "I've got a big striped hat"?
like a potato with a penis, i'm a dictator
that's a pun, it's funny, get the check from the waiter.
Good closer...best line in the battle, in my opinion. Dick-tater...clever...
Overall: Slightly above average verse before it got to "that, fat, hat, hat" shit. You've obviously got the ability to be clever and funny...just polish it up a bit...
MFP:
ur right about 1 thing ur a fucking cat...
and wat kind of rap was that.....
Weak opener...Didn't say anything...
ur runnin around, tryin to find ur mind....
I assume the attempt here was to rhyme "find" with "mind" and call it a line...didn't work....
then start yellin cuz u forgot u have none.....
ur askin ur self wen is this gonna be done.......
and ur momma says its jus begun....
Umm...Maybe I dont' get it...but...no, for certain...I don't get it...wtf?
u may be the dictator but i'm the exterminator....
It worked a little better this time, but in overall flow this fucks up you rhythmn...
come bak to my restaurant wen u've gathered ur skillz....
and be ready to pay those bills...
CLoser was the best line of the verse, but that's not saying much...way off on flow, leaves the rhyme feeling incomplete...
Overall: I've got a feeling you could much better; this verse just had nothing to it. Kind of like just going through the motions....Flow was way off, work on that...
Nod to Denver Max