aight you must be a newbie so i'll give you some advice..first of all you need to spell your words correctly even the basic ones, you need to stay on your topic through out the verse, and you need to improve your vocabulary, you should get hooked on phonics or some shit to help your illiteracy cause your verse as a whole was 100% ignorant and uneducated..no disrespect but this was a terrible verse and if you take time to think about what your goin to write about you might see a significant difference..take my words into consideration and just improve and elevate..one

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#1 West Indian Representative=Tropic