i see yo name jokah its more like me playn a
game of pokah/
its more your da joke and i'm da pranksta caus
i'll show that i'm a gangsta/
wtf...no punch...
u typen while i'm spitn but i think u petn som
kittens/
sorry to put u on the spot but i'm on fire and
your not/
pettin kittens....gay...
people wont give me vote cause they they
awoke yet /
i'm da future of rapperz not a amateur/
people wont give u votes cuz u dont even rhyme...
its like u a extra in life and i'm here to kill yo ass
with a knife b4 another nigga take yo life/
do u think i'm playn or do u here what i'm say/
no punch...
yo raps is weak and it puts me to sleep aint
sad are u getting/
i'm only 13 and i'm rockn mic so maybe u can
get out my sight/
no punch here either...
or i just might keep go'n n go'n like a durecell
battery/
i hope i win this caus i just wasted my time
try'n to rhyme against u/
so what i'm do /
dude its energizer...

Okay your verse SUCKED....GO TO TUTUORIALS AND READ ABOUT PUNCHES.....nothin else i can say but elevate....

i dont wanna fuck up dis lil nigga and get charged for underage shit//
and ya mom been round da block and nigga she got a undapayed clit//
not that great of a punch...
and iam a make dis nigga like LOSTCHILD and make up a crew to vote for him//
this nigga is so pussy he gettin his home boiz to toke for him//
not feelin it...
this lil kid is 13 ..but he runnin around actin like he big cheese//
and u spiky nigga and u aint commin out till 2k8..nigga pleaze//
not feelin this either....
and iam pettin a cat bcuz rounbd herre iam da kingping//
ayo ja iam mean spiky tel me waats da next "rap" song u gon' sing-in?//
ehh....
u da battery right nigga but iam da bunny u see on ya t.v//
bang ya drums and shit..look in ya moms room..who da nigga u see?//
come on...
fuck u nigga tellin ppl vote for me vote for me..shut up motha fuckah//
wen i was fuckin ya mom i just should have slapped her..na i should have stuck her//
wack....
and dont get mad cuz u loosin to a nigga named da jokah//
dis yung nigga runnin round tellin his bois*ayo ayo im gonna poke her*//
weak...
fuckin bitch u probably jus gettin ya wet dreams//
aight here we go ..u da rookie iam da vet..QUEENZ//
horrible...

Okay you had rhyme scheme at least....but no punches...u attempted ish but it was wack....jus elevate and practice punches......elevate....

Vote - da jokah cuz his rhymed and he attempted punches...

__________________

That Old School Mother Fucker

Aint That A Bitch?

Crhyme Sindicate