alright I can tell your a newb...you need a lesson about structure...and punches...and vocab...and well...battling...

anyways here it is...your verse is the longest 5 bars i've ever seen...anyway...

yo yo yo
check this shit...

fuck he's just a rook...cherry's still intact...
needs rappin 101, the book...or come to me i teach infact...
you lack precise punches...personals...flow...and even rhymes...
battling's unknown to you like the aliens in 'signs'...
stretch lines so long i thought you wrote a novel...
i'm patton the general...and your of course that german rommel...
i kill your platoon and chase you through greece...
your flow won't be released...cause it's obviously already deceased...
i came weak...but it's straight up keystyle...this is true...
i still KO'd your shit...hit the vote dial ...not ur threw....

alright...pm..me back for advice on your verse...

__________________