ayo this fuckers gonna get demolished, like popa doc in 8 mile/
this bitch was nothing im makin dis worth your while, no need to be in denial
weak opener- one similie- no metas, no punchlines, no wordplay, stretched
i shoulda grabbed and stabbed you at birth, when you were im your muthas woom/
your like one big baloon, im here to deflate the baloon, stick a pin in it watch it fly/
This is not good- try not to do this every again- the structure is correct but it doesn't rhyme correctly when flowed out loud, and same problems as the previous
dieing is the only thing your good at, so im gonna make dis real quick, snapp your neck off/
switch your power lights off like an electric bolt hit you/
flew into you landing you into a trash can when colideing into it in mid air/
i'll pick you up sideways throw you into a dark room, throw away the key/
arright see I dunno where this is sposed to rhyme, what happened to the structure, the punchlines are basic and not very good at all--- keep writing but look at some of the better writers on here and try and structure your rhymes better with easily defined punchlines that have some witt to em.
darkness gives you frights, scareing you when pretending i was a pultaguist/
your not even 10 brain waves from me, couldn't measure brain waves from me, they'll zap you b4 like lazer beams attacking/
the flows come back n stack on you like a stack of draws, lift you away from me crushin you/

Weak verse all in all... next

they call u fine mind but u just a deciete/
my punches knock u out and ya face hits the concrete/
This was kind of weak, the punch was basic but at least it flowed o.k
u shoulda erased yo verse cuz it cant compete/
dont think ur gonna reimburse this shit cuz u cant take this heat/
This bar doesn't make sense really-- it flows but its weak and it just takes up space
i transmit a deadly flow to ya brain making ya retreat/
ur beat blows like hos and ur too high to care from the fuckin cocaine/
u need to stop trying cause the shit u smoke makes u go mentally insane/
This is weak here... you abandoned your previous structure- the lines are basic and the punch doesn't hit very hard
i strangle u by the neck with a chain and make ya choke/
u started this shit and u provoked me to attack and i just kicked ass....
This again breaks in the structure you just changed to-- no real punchline, and basic wording.

All in all this was a weak battle, but White Craca definately has a better Idea of what he's trying to accomplish.... I think If you work on your punchlines- by giving them relevancy and work on keeping a solid flowing structure you will improve drastically White Craca.... Vote- White.
please return the favor... http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=124761

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