Its your first battle dog, how do you feel?
Ill have you cryin like K-Ci and JoJo, "TELL ME ITS REAL!"
lol, good opener, made me laugh
Battlin you is like talkin to a wall
It wont say anything back cause its too scared to talk at all
Decent punch, kinda stretched line
Youre not worth a good spit, hell you aint worth my time
Your rhymes aint shit and you dont seem to mind
lol, funny
I just noticed something, im rhymin on you first
Dam youre a pussy, that makes rhymin on you even worse
Not a great punch decent I suppose
Alright now, ill end this so you can breathe again
Now youre porbably like salt&peppa "whatta man!"
I didn't like this closer, I dunno I think all in all though the verse flowed pretty decently and there were a few good punches, your wordplay was limited alot to similies though improving this to include metas and other word associations will make you alot nastier than you are now.
With a verse likes yours,you should've have hoped I no-showed..
This Kid Sucks,No wonder he throw Low Blows............
Not a great opener, not a great punch
You was wack from birth,Meaning you was born scarred....
So watch me Smash this Pussy,Like an Overweight Porn Star!...
funny, but I think you could have worded it better for optimal effectiveness
You wack as fuck....and your rhymes are NOT sick!.
So fuck you,and that guy who was quick to hope on your dick. (toxic)
I dunno, I think this could have been worded differently and been ill but as it is now it doesn't really connect-
Boaty thinks he's urban..but doesnt know the meaning of a dollar
So I'll smash his neck bone...just to prove he isnt Blue Collar*
If you said "expose his neck bone"- that line would have been a sick punchline, as it is its decent
So, this is the closer,this newbie just merked this oldie
I guess I made Alliyah happy,because I just rocked the Boat-y
Lmao, funny closer, This was dope....
I think that WillSunYu Closer was his most effective punchline, but I dont think the whole verse was as strong as Boaty's.. Boaty had more punches - thats the battle here.... Good Luck in the future both of you please return the favor..
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=128356