my lifes a blunder feelin time slip away downward i plunder
death feels like 20 tons bricks stacked on top of each-other
i try to speak but when i move my lips nothing comes out
im wondering if this is what life after death is about
i have the choice to look back on my life and see all
should i look or not...it could make my heart free fall
all the mistakes i made and the days i never lived to the fullest
i have to look back on all this bullshit... but i feel its foolish
i have to...i must...i gotta see my daughter growing up
or i could turn away and decide if im goin down or goin up
i decide to walk away and let the pain melt from my skin
once again...this isnt life after death cuz i got another life to begin
no more feelings no more heartache pain hate or rage
i guess living after death is just like turning the page
my heart is telling me heaven but my actions are showing me hell
i try to ask myself which direction but my brain isnt willing to tell
all the sins i have commited are forcing me to go down
but all the love in my heart makes a beat with no sound
i choose to go to heaven with my mother even tho i hurt her
i started walking closer and closer but the distance got further
im stuck in the same place all alone and i have no way up
all of a sudden i hear my daughters voice and i start to wake up
~!1!~