Since I am the True Grim Reaper of rhymes, I will vote on this battle.
god it’s true my key’s rattlin-ya-written\
it’s like a mack truck….battlin-a-kitten\\
ok punchline, but didnt swing hard
dismantlin’-ya-spittin ya flop-twice\
ya body’ll be the only thing ta drop-nice\\
not hard hitting and used the word "ya" to many times
ya shot-swipes but ya still-herbed ya couldn’t come direct if you were steven spielberg\
think ya ill-nerd get eaten like grapes from gilbert\
I like the first line, it would have hit harder if you switched to two lines
ya ain’t senseless at least ya feel-hurt\\
but ya still-worked like an immigrant\
ya bringin the crowd down like they was impotent\\
not good at all
you couldn’t spit-a-hit of acid off-ya-tongue\
I always shine over you but I’m not-the-sun\\
Another one that was not good, just keep on working at it
one shot-ya-done but I didn’t pop-the-gun\ I just cock-my-tongue treat ya like pantyhouse you’ll drop-or-run\\
Nice try at word play, was really good
stop-the-fun this is so-easy but until I drop my drawers ya blows won’t-please-me\
don’t-tease-me\\
could have sounded better without the tease me part
ya verse was a joke-right ? like ya joined the dhali lamma now ya won’t-fight\\
I don’t-write ta post-type, though I am the great white you still get the most-hype\
ok line but too much self glorification
Step in ample's-site when my scope’s-tight I’ll put ya text ta my ass for a slow-wipe\
Grimreapr prays I go-light but I ain’t on-a-diet\
there’s a thing called rhyming you, gotta-try-it\\
Ok closer
Unfortunatly, GR needs to work on everything. If you both want to see how a Reaper really does it, peep this battle.
http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=128066
You cant vote though, cause its in elevated. You both really need to work on punchlines, wordplay, and word usage.
V: MC
Good luck both of you.