Im gunna start off by saying that I like this topic a lot. I like how you expanded on problems in the U.S. that effect everyone. You do however need to work on the structure and flow of the piece. Yet I see a lot of potential because i really enjoyed this and read ALL of it. Keep it up.
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how the fuck am i free if can't speak my mind without worryin about consquence/how am i free if america is run by the dollar yet i work jobs for cents/
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^^^^
Great line