Work on structure...stack ya lines don't mash them together...that style won't work on this site for some reason. Or better yet that style won't work for you. Stronger punches...i guess that really doesnt matter cuz this is was not a battle verse it was a tryout one. Take those smileys their played...all new people do that...Work on your vocabulary...this is just pertaining to that verse so don't take it personal.....uh that's about all..that i can think of right now...but there is probably more.

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Blue Print

B.P.