Lemme re-read this and drop again...


On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest:
DELEON

Rhyme Scheme:7
Flow:7
Imagery:7
Wordplay:5
Vocabulary:6
Creativity:6
Storyline:6
Entertainment Value:6

Total out of 80 points possible: 50

**I like how you jumped right into the topic.


Stand out lines:

“They sent you for me? Why even bother,” I asked the doctor/
His reply almost made me cry, “Sir you’re the child’s father.”/
Man I swear, I almost broke down right there/
My whole life just turned into a fuckin nightmare/



POTENTIAL

Rhyme Scheme:7
Flow:7
Imagery:6
Wordplay:5
Vocabulary:6
Creativity:5
Storyline:5
Entertainment Value:6

Total out of 80 points possible: 47


Stand out lines:

“The condom broke, and I’m expecting to deliver at anytime”
Time froze for a moment, felt like I was the one to commit a crime
Kept staring at the phone, the words just couldn't escape my throat
She said “come meet me soon” so put on my hat and my coat


**In my view, you didn't start off on topic and took too long to address the topic.


Vote: Deleon...more focused verse