An example is the first Bar. Like Baron said in his post, it was elementary, too simple to even start a verse. The following bars increased a bit in complexity, but still weren't good, then the lines I pointed out came and those are the only ones who stuck in. If Baron would take the time to point out your mistakes like he did at Original, you should listen, he is a vet and knows alot more than I do, some of the things I learned came from when he posted constructive crit. on my verses.

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Pro.Fess.In.All
and that...is cool.