J DOT:

J DOT spit this murder version/
whether its me or in third person/
-decent opener, short punch but its a good set up
i know its workin, cause u tellin everybody 'I Shot Ya' nigga/
it wasnt my fault, dont ever move when my fingers on da trigga/
-shit line, wasn't even a filler....but it was horrible/ no word play
had u jumpin up like tigga, but u been that way/
u from the underground dawg, u better stay that way
-underground isnt bad...unless your saying your a multi million dollar album producer, and hes still sellin bootleg cd's
new to RB, thats one thing me and u got in common/
our differences are far apart, like the legs of yo baby momma/
-nice comedy lines, comedy lines have there own way of swaying votes, but this line lacked structure and word play as well, would have been funny
u dont want drama, i aint gon' shoot but dont test ya self/
i kno niggas that'll rest ya health, u better check ya self/
before u get hit for whats under yo belt/
this aint the 'wizard of oz' show, but i'll 'watch u melt'/
-idk if you were trying for mutlis or what...but these were garbage
and i wont be 'sympathetic', cause yo 'methods pathetic'/
i aint even heard u spit, but i kno that i'm better/
-this line should have content thats setting up a bomb closure
get yo berretta, and let's go 'Wild Wild West'/
i'll be the 'best' in RB, after i put the 'rest' to 'rest'/
-uhh not good, you need a closure that will stand out when votes come in

I Shot Ya:



J DOt can get shot nigga you not hot
get popped like a bottle top, shells leave u twisted
-i dont understand this at aLL ?
im ballistic with this rap shit you just a punk bitch
-where did this line come from ?
take ya place leave you in silence in the back of a hurse
You can get knocked out wit the left but my right is even worse
-line is streched, shorten it and it would be decent
My flow is nasty so please back the fuck up off me
I shot ya bitch I aint the fuggees wont be killin you softley
-"killen me softly" ive seen this line 15 times already, come original next time
Get murked nigga it was fun your done what more could u want cunt
Dont get dropped off some kid find you at there easter egg hunt
-first line: long but makes sense, but you 2 line was horrible, you have to hit punches
And you aint really ready for war bitch my style is bigger
finger itchin the trigger put a patch on your eye like a pirate nigga
-subject pronoun at the end is bad: "pirate nigga"...example= iLL slaine your Limbs and have you stUck in a wheel chair BRO// dont use this just to rhyme
Cuz my time my life my work is in these streets
Your energy your focus your all is beatin ya meat bitch
-closure: you need much work, but everybody starts out like this, so i believe you'LL elevate if you keep at it...

[COLOR=royalblue][b]Explanation:
word play lacked from each participant, the punches were disasterous attempts to rhyme, but creativity go's to "i shot ya", he had an open mind, J DOT came with better flow but his lines either didnt make sense or were played, he had a decent opener but the rest of his verse lacked any sort of emcee touch, I Shot Ya had a few decent lines, some played some nonsense but those few that he had rose over J DOT....

Vote:
I Shot Ya

~Fem~


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