This was one of my hardest strugles as of late....Strugles of a father...


You came into my life so uninspectingly...
It was like God came before my eyes and said a message to me...

"From now till birth, all the bumps and bruises...
Scars and nuisances and even contemplating the worse...
This is yours, the responsibility begins now and even after she's born"...

It was hard, the relationship between me and her mother was already torn...
But I'd sworn to make it work...
Morbid with smirks, her mother had the upper hand...
I'd lose my "Jewel" on demand with repercussion...
If I didn't follow every command...
So I dealt with it all, winter, spring, summer and fall...
Always there for her, the world, the stars, any life...
She tops it all, always there for her no matter the call...

You came into my life so uninspectingly...
It was like God came before my eyes and said a message to me...

"From now till birth, all the bumps and bruises...
Scars and nuisances and even contemplating the worse...
This is yours, the responsibility begins now and even after she's born"...

I was takin' to court in a file for custody...
Is this what it's come to be?...
You or me, the decision of a lifetime...
Obviously I chose yours without a second thought for mine...
And everyday I live in a struggle...
Trying not to lash out on your mother...
So I walk away putting on that imaginary muzzle...
Again she has the upperhand...
Soft melodies heard from an acoustic heard the wind...
Humbling myself as tears flow off my skin...
One day it'll be me and you, four more years...
And back off to court to hear that final decision...
The verdicts in, jus as I thought, I win...

You came into my life so uninspectingly...
It was like God came before my eyes and said a message to me...

"From now till birth, all the bumps and bruises...
Scars and nuisances and even contemplating the worse...
This is yours, the responsibility begins now and even after she's born"...

There's nothing more dad can do...
Except put up with the bullshit your mother puts me through...
Day in day out we bond and emotionally connect...
Go to the pond look at the fish, feed the ducks bread...
Always thinking I should jus take you and run away...
But I hang on dealing with struggles jus another day...
Your my life, my world, my moon and sky...
Your daddy's gem "Jewel", I'll give all I have to you until the day I die...

You came into my life so uninspectingly...
It was like God came before my eyes and said a message to me...

"From now till birth, all the bumps and bruises...
Scars and nuisances and even contemplating the worse...
This is yours, the responsibility begins now and even after she's born"...



blah...Jewel is my daughter if u didnt pick that up...due november.....these are just thoughts of the futer and emotions that go on and run through my head in a daily basis... was gona be an open mic but this is a beter way to get this out...

....thanks for taking the time to read....