I liked it, your rhymes carried on on the next line, that was nice! Concept isn't original but that's ok. Flow was pretty good, vocab could be better. Some rhymes could be better but overall: it's ok! Give it a 6,5/10 (and that's good in my opinion, a 6 is good, a 7 is pretty nice, a 8 is real good, a 9 is close to perfection, a 10 is not possible )

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