yo dis due is a gay from south boston/
he be like a damn clown juggler dicks he be tossin/
6/10 amusing
dis due cant spit he jus shit/ why is this line there
this guy can only battle cause if he got in the game he couldnt write song/
but ima lyricaly murda dis due like b.i.g cause he dead wrong/
4/10 no comment
this guy gonna get smahed up like a damn ice cream cone/
cause ima bend in break dis due sideways like willis magahee's bone/
5/10 no comment on strength of punch ...but funny
this guy chose to battle but his style dingy like unclean clothes/
ima leave this due like ted williams after i ryme stuck in a box in froze/
4/10 the first line was better then the second in this bar
ima hit this due to the future like star wars he be gettin attack by the clones
why is this line there
__________________

Your main problem was structure...okay you need to learn how to get the full affect from a punline. in a bar...a bar consists of two lines...the first line is supposed to be the set up then the second line is suppose to the punch..if you don't understand me get at me on Pm. you got a lot of filler lines also. go peep my battle you might understand. I coulnt find your fifth bar. With the same punches you could win this battle but you would have to word them different

NV' verse

i dont think this faggot really doesn't know]
if he was on a ragein river he still couldnt flow]
7/10 this is a good example of what i'm talkin about.
he gets it in the ass like he was back fead]
how yall got me battlen this fuckin crack head]
5/10 i sort of don't get it.
he aint got no teeth so he's oppisite of obie trice]
i'll put ice on his baby and he's tha 2 vanilla ice]
3/10 weak
rhymes strike this guy like i was thunder fead]
he think's it's a pop quiz when someone say's wonder bread]
6/10 funny
this kid bites about as hard as a fuckin masquito]
u can be mike i'll stay non rapest and be tedo]
4/10 don't get it.

structure was okay., flow is decent I thought you had what i was talking about after the first line...punches were not all that though. but you get my vote due to fact it was more understandable. and you filled every other concept other then punches

v/NV

__________________

Blue Print

B.P.