Infared you need to put some structure in your verse. You need to break it down in lines, bars or something. It makes it harder to read, and actually pick out the rhymes the way you did it. You didnt use any personals against him, I dunno if you even used any punches, cause i had a hard time finding anything other than a giant run on sentance.

Hoops, I aint gotta say much, you had nice multis, nice flow and overall structure wasnt that bad. You lyrically murdered him, KO.