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Old 07-10-04, 06:36 PM   #14
Malefic
.....Death Awaits.....
 
Posts: 312
From: Deep Within
IP:

alright this ones pretty obviouse. no offense.
Young
Your need to structure your thought's an lines. You wwere all over the place. Although the content wasn't horrible the ste up was. Also, you need to insert some more wordplay, it will help you out alot in the form of originality and creativity.
Truth
Nice punches. Good flow. Pretty nice metiphores as well. Your wordplay was remotely faint tho. Work on that. Otherwise you had a pretty solid drop. I think you took this one pretty easily.

No hate.
Vote/DaTruth

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