Datruth29- Flow was good I was followin it pretty well, except for one line, was a lil sort in there, only thru it off momentarily and then was back on track. Some interesting metas in there, I liked the one about the spider bite(I actually had a cousin get bit by one at night on the jaw and woke up with a purple jaw) it was hot. I wasnt feelin this line at all "I Know This Fact, I Get Cash He Just Licks Ass", its just a line that anyone can think of. Esp when you come up with lines like the spider one. Their was a few nice punches though to highlight your battle. I believe I would like to see you use more multies though. Just to get a lil more creative with it.


!RIFF RAFF!- I believe your structure was off and you compensated with all the periods. Im not sure what you were looking to attain with that, it just threw me off. Sometimes a few filler words can really help your flow, esp if you have a good punch an you want it to stay in rhythm. I just wasnt really feelin any of ya punches, you called him a liar, and said he played with balls. Just take ya time and be a little harder with it, and creative. I know you did try to get personal, It just wasnt really an ingenius idea, you feel me? Just try to come harder next time, and work on the flow a lil and your right there.

v/datruth29